Sunday, June 10, 2012



We have been open now going on one year and 9 months. In all this time I can honestly tell you that there are those out there that do not like me one bit. I have been threatened, cursed at, yelled at, hung up on, had my suppliers threatened with boycott if they continue to serve me, My hearse and my removal van have been vandalised, Someone dumped a can of garbage in my fountain, I have had my personal life at my worship facility brought to the attention of the church with no merit. I have had my community told my facility is unlicensed, that I have hidden pricing, I have been accused of cremating horses with bodies by the "OWNER" of  one  local funeral facility (we use the same crematory). I have been referred to as serving "Those People" in "That Part" of town..." (who are "those people"?, where is "That Part" of town?), Called a second class funeral home serving second class people in a second class neighborhood with second class pricing, Accused of having a "meltdown" as of late at a local cemetery (I have not been to this local cemetery in quite a long time, not sure of what a meltdown is).  Probably the proudest thing I have heard is some fellow funeral homes were amazed and couldn't figure out how a Retired United States Marine, Drill Instructor was going to run a funeral home and have even been called "Marine Corps Boot Camp Funeral Home". (I'm proud of that one the most). These are just a few of about one BILLION things that my local professional funeral establishment competitors are doing to undermine my successful approach to the community that has been quite rewarding to them. We provide dignified and very affordable services that others can not come close to providing at our price.

Damn it I am very, very proud of that!


Ladies and gentleman, the funeral institution is dying. Long gone are the hay days of the 2 to 3 day wakes, flower cars, Copper Deposit caskets, Carnation wearing funeral director in a "Parlor" with thick Felt and velvet drapes hanging from the ceiling. Long gone are the "Greek" Columns of yesteryear that ensured you the atmosphere you paid for is well displayed and worthy of the second mortgage your Mom was swindled into taking out on the house to put your Dad away the "Right" way. Believe it or not, this was a very common practice used by the local "Funeral Director" back when all this funeral nonsense was being rehashed over and over, you know, "Back In The Day".

The sad thing about the death of this industry is that so many of those that are hanging on till the bitter end are doing this at your expense. Prices are spiking, you may go into the giant behemoth outdated facility down the street and even though they swore off price comparisons against the more affordable location down the street, the first thing out of their mouth is "How much is that other place charging, I'll match it and beat it by 10%. My question - Why couldn't they just do right by the consumer in the first place and do that from the beginning?

 Now it appears, the funeral industry is an "investment". Most, if not all are doing the "save and spend" cycle of business. Save it then just spend it in Vegas or on that uncontrollable gambling debt or something like that. Nothing or very very little goes back into the business. This includes bills.

There was a time when people wanted to help you, they wanted to serve and they wanted to help you carry your grief. Now its all about sitting with the family, taking your money and then passing "the case" on to some junior assistant so they can push the service to the end, most of the time not knowing what was going on. Doesn't matter, they got the cash, off to Hawaii.

Ya know what? Not everyone is like that, I have served for some very fine funeral home owners. They care, but today it appears those individuals are far and few between.

You can rest assured that every negative comment I have received on these blogs are from a disgruntled funeral home owner who doesn't like the idea of me telling you that the $7,500 funeral service you just paid for cost him or her or them about $1,000.

Lot's of secrets, lots and Lot's. I just turned 50 years old, I sleep well at night, and I also know that as long as people keep trying to reveal everything they can about my business practices, which I might add are above par, I will be letting more and more out.

DID YOU KNOW! that your funeral provider can purchase a customized hearse made by GM, CHRYSLER  or FORD? Just like that new customized Cadillac that they purchased for $45,000. only for half the price, thus bringing the price down on the service. Also did you know that there is no reason at all to replace the funeral hearse every three years other than to satisfy the owners ego of having a "NEW" hearse, Hearses are some of the most pampered cars in any industry, why would you need to replace a car with 10,000 pampered miles on it?

Did you know it costs LESS to lease or purchase a pre-existing building and convert it into a funeral home than it does to have one built? Funeral homes are facilities that pretty much exist to satisfy the ego of the owner. You pay for this.

I'm Sorry about your loss, lets talk about

Corporate funeral in America, and some private can not at all find a way to justify the outrageous, outlandish and engorged prices for their prices. It really quite comical as you sit there and they throw this price at you for over $7,000 for a funeral and they cant understand why you get this twisted lost look on your face.  It's like the white elephant in the room, It just sits there. There's an uncomfortable moment, not for the counselor, the poor counselor, either make the sale or hit the bricks.

I have seen families go in for a direct cremation into a corporate facility, ask for a direct cremation, get told "around $3,200" Oh no, I don't want a service, just a cremation. Then the long pause as the counselor responds with............. I KNOW! (Funland Mortuary, Diginty Memorial Guys, Sun City Arizona)
AND THEN the industry came up with something new that they could sell to you instead of burial or cremation, LIQUEFACTION! (no kidding) Oh come on, enough is enough now......

So there you go, the funeral institution is dying, It is, the hold outs are holding on, hoping, hoping, hoping that you will forget everything you have learned since this whole funeral fiasco stated to unwind some 15 years ago, people just got fed up, you got fed up, you walked out of the Dino-mortuary, got on your "Smart Phone" googled "Low Cost Cremation" and BAM! you were guided around the block.

The Old School funeral home fails to realize that unlike them, you keep up with modern technology, you understand modern communication and you realized about 10 years ago that like other countries in this world, much can be said about bargaining. If they choose not to bargain, YOU can walk out!

And you did. Be proud of yourself, bury your dead with what you define as "Dignity", not what they define it as................... or trade mark it as.